I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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