i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize