It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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