whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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