everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
