My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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