respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize