I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
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You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
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The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence