Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
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