never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
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Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
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And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
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