The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.