I'm lost and stupid without you.
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.