The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.