I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
