I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize
