my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
