im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
