Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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