The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Also, beer. Big fan.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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