i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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