this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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