Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
operation have a gay friend backfired
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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