That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
