Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
