dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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