Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
