last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
