I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
only you would photoshop your dick
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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