Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
