We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
