I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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