I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
