he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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