I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
