hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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