guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I came so hard my ears popped.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize