You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
