i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
