You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
