I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
how do you play pong handcuffed?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
sex in a hospital.. check
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
