my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
