the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
3 2 1 whiskey
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
