i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I've blown a few things in my day
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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