I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
