ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
