You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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