my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
