At least make sure they are 18
Why
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
