you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself