Can Purell be used as lube?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
