Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
it was like eating out sand paper
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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