Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
