Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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