you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
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Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
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He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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