Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I looked at my own cervix.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
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That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
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