i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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