i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Couch. On fire.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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