I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
