i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
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I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
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I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
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