Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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