Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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