True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
